Feeding Ducks Is Like A Religious Experience

Feeding the ducks with the Goddess is like a religious experience. Sometimes just being with her is like that for me (tearing up as I write this). I wished for many years for a baby girl. Losing my mom so young really made me hunger for a mother-daughter relationship and I love spending time with her.

Today, on a beautiful fall morning, we went to feed the ducks in town while waiting for Handsome to come out of school, there were none.

She was throwing bread to nothing. The water was still, and empty. I asked her where she thought all the ducks were. She said, “I don’t know, maybe they are home with their mommies (cute).” Then she stood at the deck, put her hands around her mouth and yelled, “Ducks, ducks…where RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu?Wouldn’t you know it, they came. Tons of them just started flying across the water towards us. Crazy.

And the rain comes down
There’s no pain and there’s no doubt
It was easy to say
I believed in you everyday
If not for me
Then do it for the world – Stevie Nicks

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The Goddess’s 2nd Day Of Pre-School

Tuesday was the Goddess’ very first day at pre-school and she did fab!

Mom on the other hand was a bit of a mess.

I can’t say I was worried, just a little melancholy that my baby was going to leave me for 2.5 hours, two days a week.

Her dad and I were sure that she would have fun, we also were sure that she wouldn’t miss us, her brother is in the same place so they would have each other.

From the moment she woke up at 7:00 she was ready for school. She wanted to get dressed right away and we had to keep reminder her that school wasn’t open yet.

She asked about 15 times before 9:00 “can we please go to school now.”

Unfortunately it rained so I was unable to get any good pictures of her going in. I took some but I am not happy with any. My husband was with us and I always feel silly whipping out the camera every second.

Bad Mommy moment – I had promised her that she would be getting a balloon. We had brought one on Monday for her brother’s first day and she asked for one the whole day. I promised her that I would get her one on HER first day. Since it was her first day, I refused to leave town. Honestly, I doubt I will be leaving for the next 2 months).

I walked into the class and both my kids ran over to hug my legs and say hello. My son was first, followed by the Goddess. Her first words….”Hi mommy, where’s my balloon?”

We did go out to get one right after but how awesome would it have been if I had walked in with it???!!!

Here are the few I did manage to get.

Heading to school in the pouring rain.

Dropped off, took pictures and she sat right down to play

Finally, getting a balloon.

The Car Wash Can Be Scary When You Are 3 Years Old

I took the two of them into a car wash the other day. My son was amazed, this was the 2nd time and he couldn’t wait. The Goddess on the other hand was very nervous. She kept hiding behind her juice to peek out.

In this one she is saying, “no, no pictures”.
Handsome loved the sudsy water that cascaded over the vehicle. He just kept saying, “the sun’s going down. Look it’s night time.”

Tiny Video of the Car Wash

My Ballerina

Be still my heart. This morning I took my daughter to a free introductory ballet class for little 2-4 year old preschoolers. We went last year but she and her brother got bored when the instructors took too long to get things moving. We were the only people to show up and they kept hoping others would come in. We left and when I saw they were doing it again this year, I left my son home.

She was excited and we dressed in her pink tutu, leotard. She was excited and so was I when we walked in 5 minutes before class and saw 5 little ones already sitting on the floor with an instructor.

She was asked if she wanted to come sit with them; to which she said yes without even looking at me. I took my place against the wall with the other smiling parents. I felt bad that we had dressed up because no one else had. Not bad for my daughter, just bad for the other girls because the instructors made a big deal about her outfit. Thankfully the girls are so young I doubt any of them took it personally.

When the class started she took directions well and proceed to really enjoy herself while I (the only parent with a camera, of course), snapped quiet pictures (no flash to disturb) and some video.

She wants to go back tomorrow, but I told class isn’t for a few weeks and that if she liked it we would see.
I really hope we can afford to send her because she did exactly what I would have wished. She walked right in, took direction, smiled, laughed and sparkled all day. She even dance counted a few times 6, 7, 8.

Since losing my mom when I was 12 this was exactly the memory I was hoping to be able to make with my own daughter. I took ballet when I was her age and I hope we can manage it for her.

One Year Ago Today……

One year ago today, was the day I stopped nursing my daughter. (Last Years post)

One year ago today, I sat holding her while she feed from my body.

One year ago today, was the last time I held her like an infant.

One year ago today, she slept with me and nursed off and on all night long.

One year ago today, I was sad that it was over and I would never nurse another baby again.

One year ago today, I was the last time I saw my friend Lori. We went to see a local play Oliver and had the best time.

One year ago today, I was upset that I would get home to late to nurse her.

One year ago today, I was still fielding questions about when I would stop nursing.

One year ago today, my baby grew up with one night out with a friend.

Nursing my kids was something I knew I would do when I was pregnant. My son was such a natural. He was my first and he took to it like a champ. I nursed him for about 8 months which was as long as he would allow. Then I pumped for another 4 until he was 1.

My daughter on the other hand, was not a natural and because she gave me so much resistance, I felt unsupported by the people in my life for the first 4 days of her life. She was hungry and would not latch on. I finally got in touch with Le Leche and through their support (1 phone call), I got the support I needed to relax and try again and it worked. When she finally got it, it was so easy.

I never felt that it was a job, or a commitment, annoying, hard, it just worked. Having a 23 month old be patient enough to watch me nurse ALL DAY is crazy too. Everyone just did their part and it was a piece of cake. In fact. I loved it. It relaxed me and when it finally was over I realized it was the only time I sat down. On the 3rd day after weaning I realized I NEVER sat down during the day. Nursing forced me to sit and just be! Something a mom with a colicky newborn and a late talking 23 month old needed very badly.

Baby Girl,

I will never forget how much I loved holding you and smelling you as you nursed. I used to take my hand and trace your face and play with your hair as you played with my fingers. Your brother used to come over and say, “baby eat” whenever you were nursing. He didn’t say much but he did tell us when you were crying and when you needed to eat.

You used to call it “all done” which I found so cute. You would come up and ask for all done which meant you wanted to be nursed. I guess me asking if you were all done was a bit confusing.

When we were done I was actually very surprised at how easy it was. You asked for it the next night and I said, “You don’t need it.” You probably only asked for it 3 times. On the 4th night you cried for it but I felt that enough nights had gone by and that you were probably more tired than wanting to nurse. Honestly, if you had cried and begged for it on the next evening after missing the first time I would have caved in.

I love you baby and miss our time together but I think our bond more than makes up for that loss of closeness.

God bless you baby. You are everything Mommy wished for and God intended.

See my rant on breast feeding in public.

Who Says TV Rots The Brain????

I have always been an advocate for children watching TV as long as it is the right kind of shows. My kids are 3 & 5 and have never seen Spiderman, Jimmy Neutron, Power Rangers, Batman, Rugrats and other shows which are intended for children but are either violent, deal with situations that I don’t want them to see or hear yet or use language that I think is unnecessary. Ever hear Angelica from the Rugrats call the “babies” stupid?! Grrrr…

My son used to watch Sesame Street, The Wiggles and Blue’s Clues. Eventually we branched into Barney but this was all he watched until he was 4. Most of the shows he gravitated toward all featured real people along with a character or in the case of Blue’s Clues a cartoon.

Handsome was almost 2 when sitting on the swing with me outside, said, “b-l-u-e spells Blue and h-o-u-s-e spells house. I was floored and amazed because I always felt that he was learning so much from Blue’s Clues but to be spelling for me from memory before he was even 2 was too cute.

At 5 years old he is still content to watch Blue, Barney, Max and Ruby and for a short time while it was on, the Upside Down Show.

Yesterday, my daughter and I were enjoying the lake. She was in her little tube and I was pushing her through the water.

Goddess – “is there dolphins in this water mommy?”

Me – “no because dolphins are in the ocean”

Goddess – “no they aren’t”

Me – “yes honey they live in the ocean”.

Goddess – “dolphins don’t eat people.”

Me – “you are right, they don’t, they eat fish.”

Goddess – “no mommy, fresh river dolphins eat crabs.”

Thanks to Dora or Diego, my daughter beat me at that conversation. Hello, help, she is 3 years old.

Today, while I was dog sitting for a friend who is on an overnight trip; Goddess saw the dog jumping on the bench outside. He jumped on, jumped off, jumped on, jumped off. Exercise? I have no idea but I digress….

Goddess – “Rocky, santa.”

Me – “Santa?”

Goddess – “yes, mama, Little Bill’s daddy said that when they were jumping.”

My husband walked outside and he grew up speaking Spanish at home so I said,
“does Santa mean jump in Spanish?”

He tells me no!

When I had a chance to look up jump in Spanish on the computer I find out that Salto or saltar means jump. Check it out! My baby showed us both up.

Photo Saturday – Pointed

Head on over to my other blog to see my entry for “pointed”

Memories Through Photography